Women Who Work: Chastity Quave, LCSW (@intoxicating21)

At Hugs for Black Women, we are committed to encouraging and empowering our female community and look forward to connecting with women on a mission to do the same. This week, we sat down with the founder of Align Mental Health, Chastity Quave, to discuss entrepreneurship, mindfulness, and more. Read on below. 🤎

HBW: Thank you so much for speaking with us! Let’s jump right in. What piqued your interest in psychology? When did you know you wanted to be a therapist?

Chastity: My interest in Psychology started when I was in college. I was first an engineering major, then an elementary education major, and then I landed on psychology. I come from a big family, and it was really interesting to me how my siblings and I were raised in the same home and had distinct differences in personalities, thinking styles, and life views. I was curious to learn about the brain and also theories on personalities. It started as maybe a wounded healer quest, my parents were getting a divorce when I came to college, and I was also curious to learn more about why I was feeling how I was feeling.

 When I studied abroad for a winter session in Jamaica, I took my first social work class, which helped me begin to see the person in system perspective and start to look at human behaviors as a part of a full ecological experience. I was curious to explore all of the different schools of thought and how they relate to our community as a whole. 

I was fortunate to meet a mentor who had a successful practice and showed me that by being a therapist, I could reach many lives and live a life that looked extra successful and comfy, so I was sold at that point.

HBW: You’re also an entrepreneur, having recently opened your first practice in Oakland, California, Align Mental Health. How did that come about?

Chastity: This has been a dream for years. I understood I always wanted to work for myself. I was able to witness firsthand while interning with my mentor the pros of running your practice and the freedom that comes with being able to create a space I believe in. She also gave me my first job so I could see a practice’s inner workings, and I fell in love with the idea of running my own business one day. I dreamt of the details of the different processes I would have in place and how I saw I wanted my business to run. It took a lot of me getting out of my own way. I believe my self-doubt stopped me a lot along the way. But I understood my vision and could lean into the understanding that trusting myself would be not only for me but a resource to bring healing to our community, so that definitely helped me to start.

HBW: How do you balance supporting your clients’ mental health journey with preserving your mental health?

Chastity: Lots of self-care. I have really discovered the importance of curating a routine that honors my needs. I, of course, have my own therapist. Because I mean, we all need one. I burnt out from therapy and had to take a break from direct practice for about two years. The work we do is very taxing, and if you are not caring for yourself properly, which at the time I wasn’t, it resulted in my inability to maintain. During my time away from direct practice, I evolved as a therapist. I read new materials. And I worked with a different population of patients, which expanded my practice and was helpful for me to understand and get back to what I truly wanted to do in my private practice. Now that my awareness of my needs has expanded, it’s easier for me to preserve my mental health. Know thyself. lol

HBW: California or Mississippi? 

Chastity: Lol. In my dreams, there is a utopian city that combines all of the comforts that Mississippi brings with the lively energy and beautiful views that California offers. They both genuinely hold a special place in my heart. Both locations are beautiful; California’s ocean views and outside activities keep me here. California has brought a lightness to my life that I really appreciate. Also, this sense of expansiveness has no limits. I’ve been able to abandon limited thinking and cultivate a path where I bet on myself and win. Not to say that can’t happen anywhere else; I’ll likely live in the South. But for my time in California, I knew I couldn’t leave without getting some things started first.

HBW: What do you feel is the most prevalent mental health issue black women face today?

Chastity: This is a hard one, but mainly untreated anxiety and depression. The inability to be in touch with our feelings to know what they are and express them. Then the added guilt associated with some uncomfortable feelings, the shame, and the prescribed weakness that sometimes accompanies the senses that don’t allow women to move into a healing space. And to be honest, in our culture, sometimes there is not a perceived safe space to be vulnerable and to share our feelings. I know as a culture, we are discussing traumas, and for some, that’s an accurate diagnosis of what has led them to a state where they are detached from their feelings. And for others, it’s learned behaviors.

The resiliency of black women and the strong black woman trope are definitely being challenged in society or at least discussed. I see it very often in my office. Understanding that it’s ok not to be ok. That’s sometimes difficult to learn and takes a lot of self-grace to practice. Asking for help is even harder. The vulnerability it takes to show true emotions. We can discuss various reasons that have gotten us to this place, historically or otherwise. When it all boils down, I believe now more than ever we have to have greater discussions surrounding our journeys and how the impact has taken its toll.

HBW: How can we best address that issue?

Chastity: I mentioned discussing our journeys. I am, of course, an advocate for individual therapy, and I’m also an advocate for taking psychotropic medications as prescribed by your providers for a season if necessary. I advocate for faith-based and holistic approaches such as acupuncture, yoga, meditation, prayer, and a combination of the above if necessary. It begins with the first step of bringing awareness to these issues. The more we understand, the more we can acknowledge that everything might not be ok and share stories the more we can connect with others on similar journeys. I believe groups to address our journeys in our community will be very powerful.

HBW: What is the single best piece of mental health advice you can give?

Chastity: Talk it out! Get out of your head! Whew, the thoughts we have can be never-ending at times. The problem is if you are struggling with anxiety or depression, the originating thought could be from a distorted view, so now it has only spawned more of the same. Sometimes (most times), it’s best to get out of your head. Take a separation from the thoughts. If you are saying this is not possible or that it’s too hard to do, then I’d challenge you to explore the alternative of what if there is a reality where you can learn the skills necessary to have a break from your mental marathon.

HBW: Life advice?

Chastity: Stay in the present. Let it go. You know what “it” is, more than likely. The more we practice accepting where we might be in a situation, what has happened to us, and the people that have harmed us, the more we can reduce the suffering in our lives. The act of non-acceptance breeds so much suffering. It’s not saying not to acknowledge what has happened or ignore the pain it caused. It’s accepting that it has happened. Your healing and growth depend on this.

HBW: What words of encouragement do you have for black women?

Chastity:

You are loved! So dynamic, and the story of your life matters. You deserve a life that has peace, however you define it. It starts by allowing yourself to explore what that could look like and going after that wholeheartedly. Everything that has happened, happened to make you who you are. And that’s just fine. Life can and should be enjoyed. If you asked yourself daily, what if everything worked out, and trusted those answers, how would you live your life?

HBW: How do you plan to finish the fourth quarter of 2022?

Chastity: I’m preparing for lots of new adventures. Now that my private practice is established, I’m moving the focus to developing the Wellness Center. I am adding therapists to the workspace with various specialties that will be able to reach our community. Also, starting groups to address issues that are real to our lives i.e., relationships, maternal mental health, adjustment disorders with moves to new cities, etc. So yes, I’m expanding in more ways than one and embracing my daily journey. I hope to connect and cross paths with so many beautiful and strong women who are taking steps to have a more peace-filled life and are brave and vulnerable enough to share their stories.