Choosing to See the Good | Warning: Personal Post Ahead

Building Hugs for Black Women has been humbling, rewarding, and discouraging – all at the same time. It’s helped me be accountable for writing every day and pushed me to create positive content in keeping with our mission to encourage black women. The site is in its infancy, but I’m praying that with nourishment and care, it will continue to grow and eventually positively impact many. And while the site has been a bright spot in my life, I’m also navigating a ton of personal issues that have put me in somewhat of a funk.

I know we all have some dark days, but this feeling has been one that’s been lingering for a while. It’s a mixture of loneliness, confusion, and resentment. I’ve struggled with depression for years and have become more adept at combating thoughts that tend to pull me down. But lately, it seems like I’m regressing. I’ve had moments of anger, rage, and despair more frequently than I care to admit. And while there is legitimate cause for me to feel these ways, I’ve been fighting tooth and nail to regain my happiness.

There was a point in my life when I was addicted to misery. In the words of the great JoAnn the Scammer, I was a “messy bish who lived for drama!” 😭😭😭 No, but really. I didn’t want to hear, see, or read anything positive. I was in such inner turmoil that negativity seemed normal. It was a tough time that eventually led me to seek help. Things haven’t been perfect since then, but I’m more self-aware and in a better mental space, and those are feelings I want to hang on to.

So when this new wave of negative energy overtook me recently, I was less than thrilled about it. I stewed in discontentment for nearly a month before realizing that I haven’t been actively looking for ways to feel better (watching Hotel Transylvania 4: Transformania and Dopesick helped but keep that on the low😭). After days of darkness, I was reminded that choosing happiness is up to me. In the same way that I’m responsible for creating content for HBW daily, I’m also responsible for creating personal contentment daily. And what better way for me to do that than to look for reasons to be happy. That was the takeaway of Hotel Transylvania 4: Transformania for me – that I must look for the good in life. Talk about a transformation!

Now I’ve only been feeling better for a week or so, so take this advice with a grain of salt if necessary. But since I’ve adjusted my perspective, I’ve been more motivated to seek opportunities to help me feel better. I’m praying more, eating better, and reframing my thoughts daily. Sometimes we just need a nudge. Whether it’s divine intervention or animation, we just need to be reminded that we have the power to change our circumstances. And for anyone who is reading and feeling down, I want to share the news.

You may feel down today but keep fighting. Keep showing up for yourself and pressing toward your happiness. No storm lasts forever. So reach deep, stretch wide, and change the forecast. Love and Hugs.