Dating In Your 30s – Do’s and Do Not’s

A while back, I asked readers which topics they’d like to see on the blog, and this one came highly requested – and by highly requested, I mean one friend asked me to write about it – Dating in Your 30s! 🙄 I put it off for as long as I could because a part of me has given up on love 🤣, but if there’s a mid-thirties lover girl out there seeking guidance, you’ve come to the right place. We’ve done the leg work for you. And here’s what the experts recommend you do (and don’t do) to find love in your 30s.

Do Know What You Want

Brides.com recommends this charming exercise. Write down the names of the last few people you’ve dated, and next to each name, write the top 5 things you liked about dating that person and the top 5 things you didn’t. Now, note any patterns. The things you appreciate are the things you should seek in a new mate.

Do Not Waste Time

If you’ve been wondering where you’ve gone wrong while dating in your 30s, chances are you’ve committed the cardinal sin – according to author & relationship expert Rachel Greenwald – wasting too much time! Greenwald believes the thirties are a time to date intentionally, especially for those desiring marriage and children.

In her words, “…in your late twenties and early thirties, I think about six months is the longest amount of time that you should spend with someone in getting to know them and creating a deep relationship with them. But, if you reach the six-month mark and you have very serious concerns that this person is not going to be your future husband or even a nagging doubt that there is just something wrong or something missing, you should not move beyond six months.”

You read that right – six months! So say goodbye to those on-again, off-again romances that are more off than on. It’s time to level up.

Do Explore Your Options – All of Them

Dating in your 30s is about being open. Having a “type” is okay, but remaining open to a wider range of potential mates could be the key to finding love. Bestselling author Jordan Gray suggests we refrain from writing people off because they’re too old or too young because “ultimately, it all comes down to maturity levels and alignment of life visions.”

Do Not Expect Perfection

This one was hard to read, but umm yeah, apparently, we can throw out those lists of everything we want in a mate and prioritize things of substance only. 🙄Dating expert Rachel Greenwald says, “superficial things like height or looks or hair or salary, those are the things that are going to really detour you from finding love.”
Whatever.

Do Heal

Licensed counselor, Shanta Jackson, recommends therapy to overcome persistent trauma and festering wounds. Therapy can also help with communicating more effectively and understanding your attachment style; these tools can be instrumental in maintaining a successful relationship.

Do Not Date Someone You’re Not Into

Relationship coach, Jordan Gray, recommends pulling the plug on dead-end relationships. If you’re not into the person, don’t text, don’t call, don’t give false hope, don’t pass go, or collect $200. Let it go. Remember, time is of the essence.

Do Trust Your Intuition

Your twenties may have been about throwing caution to the wind, but a decade later, you’re all the wiser. Dating coach Camille Virginia reminds us, “Our intuition is always guiding us, but in our 20s, we’re not necessarily ready to hear it.” However, this does not need to be true for us in our thirties. We can save ourselves time and energy by listening to our gut.

Do Not Play Games

Now is not the time to wait three days to text back. It’s the time to be open and vulnerable, state your intentions, release negative thinking, accept rejection, and date like an adult. Once you’ve done the work to heal, you can be honest about what you desire in a mate and confident about what you bring to the table. Dating in your thirties isn’t for the weak, but if you’re up for the challenge, you may find the love you’ve been looking for.

Keep us posted. Love & Hugs!