Women Who Work: Ashley Clayton, LPC-S, NCC (@yung_macaroni)

At Hugs for Black Women, we are committed to encouraging and empowering our female community and look forward to connecting with women on a mission to do the same. This week, we sat down with artist and psychotherapist, Ashley Clayton, to continue our conversation with women who work. And things got DEEP. The New Orleans native educated us on spirituality, the strong black woman (SBW) schema, and wolves? 🤔 Yes, wolves. If you’re ready to learn, read on. Her words are sure to teach.

HBW:    Thank you so much for speaking with us! Can you tell us what piqued your interest in psychology and how you went on to become a psychotherapist?

Ashley:  I have been a psychotherapist for over eight years now, and it has been an interesting journey. At the young age of 4, I remember I was on the playground, and I saw a kid I didn’t know crying. I went up to them and asked why they were sad in an attempt to help them. From as early as I can remember, I was deeply interested in gaining self-awareness and discovering what makes others tick. I’ve been fortunate to experience an unconventional upbringing that encouraged me to choose a life path of Psychotherapy. My parents were foster parents for over 25 years to underprivileged youth in New Orleans. They set an excellent example and led me to believe that my purpose was to help others. I feel my path is rooted in encouraging individuals to conquer adversity, increase their well-being, and realize their true potential. I can assure you, it is NOT easy; however, it is honestly a rewarding experience to witness clients process and learn what is in their hearts and their minds to gain peace, personal insight, and an empowered mindset to move through life and future challenges.

HBW:    You’re also an artist. What role, if any, has art played in your mental health journey? Do you intertwine art in your role as a therapist at all?

Ashley:  I am an artist at heart. Since grade school, I have excelled in Art courses. I often incorporate painting, finger painting, drawing, and sculpting techniques with my adolescent clients. I use these techniques to build rapport and self-esteem and reduce stress and anxiety symptoms. My client can explore self-expression and, in doing so, find new ways to gain personal insight and develop new coping skills.

Moreover, I have realized that having an artistic mind has allowed me to see people from a different perspective. I thrive on working in unstructured situations and learning esoteric philosophies. Using creativity and an imaginative point of view has guided me to combine logic and abstract thinking to help individuals solve issues from a different perspective.

HBW:    What do you feel is today’s most prevalent mental health issue within the black female community?

Ashley:  This may be a hard truth to accept, but I feel that today’s most prevalent issue within the black female community revolves around the term “Strong black female.” We have been conditioned from youth to be resilient amongst all adversity and “do it ourselves.” Our pain is real. Physical and emotional. Others may say they aren’t strong enough to be a Black woman because we bear so much of the world’s pain, but we aren’t necessarily stronger than anyone else. We are resilient because we have to be. We are resilient because our families need us to be. I contribute this issue mainly to the curse of slavery, leaving an intergenerational legacy of trauma when our male counterparts were emasculated, and families were separated. Black women have the same range of emotions as any other human being. We feel physical pain at the same level as any other woman. Studies have shown an alarming significant correlation between the strong black woman (SBW) schema and depression, anxiety symptoms, and loneliness. Racial, economic, and structural inequalities that maintain the SBW schema must be examined and removed. We should truly focus on reducing maladaptive perfectionism and increasing self-compassion and collective coping among our community to banish this post-traumatic slave syndrome. WHEW…so much to unpack there.

HBW:    Yes, it is! With all of that, how do you preserve your mental health while helping clients work through challenges daily?

Ashley:  As a therapist, preserving my mental health can sometimes get quite challenging. It is essential to maintain good self-care to avoid burnout. A lovely airline stewardess has taught us that in an emergency, you have to put your oxygen mask on first before assisting others. You can’t pour from an empty cup. My spirituality has attributed to seeking peace and understanding. I’ve found that I thrive best with keeping a structured schedule and incorporating exercise, watching a ton of comedy shows, drinking matcha tea, and listening to house music into that regimen.

HBW:    What’s the single best piece of mental health advice you can give?

Ashley:

Be present in the moment, not distracted by ruminations on the past or worried about the future, but centered in the here and now. You will let life pass you by when you are too busy worrying about the future or focused on mistakes from your past.

HBW:    Life advice?

Ashley:  A quote from Naeem Callaway says, “sometimes, the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tiptoe if you must, but take the step.”

HBW:    What words of encouragement do you have for black women?

Ashley:  Having a therapist is fundamental to healing. Meditation is also paramount. No matter how you meditate, set aside some time to think deeply. It will benefit your mind and soul, and it’s also vital to nourishing your spirit.

HBW:    What goals and plans do you have for the remainder of this year?

Ashley:  My plans for the rest of the year are to study more and work towards completing my PhD. As a therapist, I think it is important to keep up to date with the latest research. To continue being an eclectic, well-rounded counselor, I plan to educate myself more and never stop learning to gain more esoteric knowledge that I can use to help clients and expand my skills as a professional. Socrates famously uttered the following quote: “If I am the wisest man alive, it is for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing.” Keep learning.

HBW:    Words to live by. You gave me this excellent idea to spice up the Women Who Work questions. You recommended I add in a “Wild Card” question. So, it’s only right that you be the first to answer our Wild Card question, which is – if you could be any animal, what would you be and why?

Ashley: This is challenging to narrow down because I love animals! I would say that I am a wolf. Wolves get a bad rap sometimes, but wolves are complex, brilliant animals who are caring, playful, and devoted to family. A wolf symbolizes guardianship, ritual, loyalty, and spirit. Wolves can make emotional attachments and often need to trust their instincts. Thus, they teach us to do the same, to trust our hearts and minds, and have control over our own lives.