Focus on You

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” – Theodore Roosevelt

Humans have long been skilled in the art of comparison. Even before careers, cars, clout, and the like, we’ve always found a way to want more. Eve wanted to know what God knew. Cain wanted God’s favorable outlook on Abel. And on and on. For centuries, comparison has cultivated unhappiness in the lives of many. But with awareness, discipline, and focus, it’s possible to reclaim our joy.

“…get alert.” – Pooh Shiesty

Most of us are all too familiar with what causes feelings of envy, inadequacy, and dissatisfaction to arise in our lives. Whether it’s engaging with a friend who can’t seem to stop bragging about how great their life is or mindlessly scrolling social media, we can identify what makes us feel like we’re not enough. But for those of us who have yet to distinguish the source of our comparison anxiety, becoming aware is one of the first steps to escaping its trap. Simply put, you’ve got to know what triggers comparisons within you and avoid those triggers at all costs.

“Love yours.” – J. Cole

Watching other people set goals and accomplish them should inspire us – not discourage us. If it’s possible for them, it’s also possible for us. We, too, can have an amazing career, killer body, and loving relationship if we want it enough to go after it. But in striving to accomplish our goals and dreams, we must remain disciplined in appreciating what we already have. There’s nothing wrong with putting forth the effort to change our circumstances, but failing to accept and be grateful for what we have can disrupt our peace. Learning to appreciate where we are while working toward where we want to be can shift our energy in a more positive direction.

“I’m my own competition. I’m competing with myself.” – Cardi B

With unprecedented access to the lives of others, it’s easy to get distracted from our mission. And even easier to lose sight of what we want in our own lives. This is why it’s essential to focus on ourselves – watering our grass, improving our relationships, reaching our goals. These are the actions that will cultivate happiness within our lives, and this is the work we must do for ourselves. Everything else is just a distraction. Our attitude should be, “Great for them! Now back to work on me.” Your co-worker received a promotion? Great for them! Now, back to work on you. Your cousin got engaged? Great for them! Now, back to work on you. You can (and should) be happy for other people’s accomplishments without losing sight of your own goals. Now back to work on ourselves.

It can be tough to avoid comparing ourselves with others in today’s times because it’s never been easier to stay informed. When we find ourselves at a place of discontent due to comparison, it’s time to make a change. Recognizing our triggers, practicing gratitude, and focusing on ourselves can help. Remember, you are your only competition!