Oprah + Viola: Two Thumbs Up + Five Life Lessons

Since her portrayal of a 1960s housemaid in the 2011 blockbuster film, The Help, Viola Davis has become a household name. She’s the most nominated black actress in Academy Award history and the only African American ever to receive the Triple Crown of acting – an Academy Award, Primetime Emmy Award, and Tony Award. She’s starred in over 50 films, founded a production company, served as an international spokeswoman for beauty brand L’Oréal, and on April 26, 2022, she released her memoir, Finding Me.

Just ahead of the release date, Oprah announced Finding Me would be her 95th Book Club selection, an honor in and of itself. And on April 22, 2022, Oprah + Viola: A Netflix Special Event premiered on the streaming giant’s platform. The 45+ minute conversation, centered around the life and times of Davis, was as engaging as it was enlightening and affirmed essential life lessons. Read on for five gems of wisdom I received just by watching.

 

It’s Not How You Start…

It’s how you finish. In Oprah + Viola, Viola unabashedly shared the details of her upbringing, including poverty, domestic violence, and sexual abuse. She recounts going to school hungry on various occasions and foul-smelling on others. Raised in Central Falls, Rhode Island, she – and her siblings – endured harsh winters in rat-infested apartments with no hot water. It was shocking to hear, but even throughout tales of horror, Viola could recall happy times. Though she endured what she described as “abject poverty and deprivation,” she didn’t allow those conditions to deter her. In 2020, Viola was named one of Forbes’ highest paid actresses, earning 15.5 million dollars.

 

You Can Run…

But you can’t hide. Oprah + Viola opens with Viola reflecting on her childhood days in Central Falls, when she was often bullied, teased, and called racial slurs by boys in her third-grade class. Because her bullies would chase her after school, Viola says she would wait feverishly at the back door of the classroom when school was over and take off running when the dismissal bell rang. “I never stopped running. My feet just stopped moving.” She tried endlessly to wear a mask of courage and to appear tough and confident but says deep down she was still the damaged little girl who believed she was ugly and not enough. Eventually, Viola sought therapy and decided to move beyond her troubled past. “You can stay there and be swallowed, or you can choose to move on. I chose to move on.”

 

Prayer Changes Things.

And Netflix knows we need a man. Because I would not have watched this special had the trailer not been running in the background of Netflix, and of course, it featured the 90-second clip where Viola talks about praying for her husband and meeting him within the next three weeks. It was an amazing story that inspired me – and undoubtedly countless others – to write out a very specific list of things we seek in a mate and go to God in prayer. A friend of mine said, “Ciara’s prayer ain’t working, so I’m gonna gone and try Viola’s.” 🤣🤣🤣 Listen, one of these prayers got to hit eventually!

 

Forgiveness Is a Choice.

Viola’s parents, Dan and Mae Alice, were married for 48 years until her father passed away in 2006. During her adolescent years, Viola recalls witnessing her father emotionally and physically abuse her mother numerous times, describing him in her memoir as “strict and violent.” At age 14, she intervened as her father was abusing her mother, positioning herself between the two of them. She explained how frightening the entire ordeal was in Oprah + Viola, saying it felt unnatural at such a young age to be forced to tell her parent that he was behaving inappropriately. But all was not lost, as Viola went on to describe how the encounter gave her confidence and helped her to find her voice.

In the end, she chose to forgive her father for his misdeeds and focus on the love she knew he felt for her. In a recent interview with People magazine, she shared, “…forgiveness is not pretty… it’s messy.” “My dad loved me. I saw it. I felt it. I received it and took it. To me, that’s a much better gift and less of a burden than spending my whole life carrying that big heavy weight…”

 

Success Is Not Always What You See.

“Why now?” Oprah asks Viola at the start of the conversation, regarding the timing of Viola’s memoir. Viola explains that she wrote the book during the pandemic after feeling exhausted and disconnected. She says that for years she had anticipated experiencing a feeling of eternal joy after attaining a certain level of success. When the “success” came, and the feelings didn’t, she quickly realized that fame and accolades would not fill the void she felt. What did? Authenticity, self-love, courage, family, and finding the people who love you and, in turn, “give you the permission to love yourself.”

 

I could go on and on about the ways Oprah + Viola inspired me, but some things you have to see for yourself! Oprah + Viola: A Netflix Special Event is still streaming. And in my humble opinion, it’s worth watching every minute. Love and Hugs!